saas
VanityMetrics+
Inflate KPIs with mathematical credibility for your next board deck
The Full Pitch
Enter your real metrics and your target KPI. Returns a 'defensible' methodology — adjusted cohorts, implied ARR, projected LTV — that lands on the number you need. Includes fake academic footnotes.
💀 Why It's Fucked
The board CFO was a Big Four ex-auditor. Turns out he was an ex-prosecutor instead.
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